Captain America: Red Skull grabs an Infinity Stone with his bare hands, gets his face melted off like in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
Guardians of the Galaxy: “Yeah, Infinity Stones are not to be fucked around with. If you’re anything less than immortal, touching it for more than a second will make you explode. MAYBE if you got a couple of people to share the load, you could hold it for a minute or two, but even then if you push it too far your head will pop off like a soda bottle.”
Thor 2: Jane Foster absorbs an Infinity Stone into her bloodstream, sees the whole of the universe, develops defensive superpowers, goes for days where her only negative side effects are a fever and occasional fainting.
Jane Foster is raw as hell.
Ladies, I am holding out my hand. Do you trust me?
I need you to open Google Maps. Locate your nearest mall. Get in your car. Drive to Yankee Candle.
Past the seasonal pumpkin display, near the back of the store, you will find a trash pile Man Candle section. You will see candles called MMM, Bacon!. Riding Mower. Man Town. (I’m not kidding. Man Town.) Stay strong. Not in this section, but likely very near this section, you will find a candle called Mountain Lodge.
Hold this jar in your hands like a talisman. Close your eyes and picture a man.
I want to be clear: I’m not talking about a Hugh Dancy. Or an Andrew Garfield, a Ben Whishaw, even a Tom Hiddleston. This exercise requires someone in the Chris Evans weight class. The Richard Armitage department. Someone with smile lines around his eyes who could chop the cedar for your bower with his own hands, strangle an alpha wolf, carry you home when you sprain your ankle in the woods, bench press your entire body. Picture this man in your mountain home with a full beard, a slightly grimy white henley, a fond half smile he reserves only for you. Now open the lid and smell Mountain Lodge.
Steady yourself on the man candle display. Give yourself a second. No, you’re not wrong. Yes, the Yankee Candle Company has just eliminated the need for men. This medium tumbler Mountain Lodge candle jar is now your boyfriend. The Yankee Candle Company has effectively replaced the need for contact with the male half of our species with a compact and clean-burning candle in a jar.
"Do you like this one?" the cashier asked, ringing me up. "Every man should be required by law to smell like what this candle smells like," I replied intensely. "That’ll be $12.01," she said.
national moment of silence 2014 (for victims of police brutality)
share the following:
Ferguson Police Department
Email (taken off the site)
222 S. Florissant Road
Ferguson, MO 63135
Jackson, Thomas Police Chief - email@example.com (314) 524-5269
Henke, Rick Captain - firstname.lastname@example.org (314) 524-5272
McBride, Dennis Captain - email@example.com (314) 522-3100
DeCarli, Dan Captain - firstname.lastname@example.org (314) 522-3811
Nabzdyk, Ray Lieutenant - email@example.com (314) 524-5277
Zoll, Timothy Business Liaison Officer/ Neighborhood Watch - firstname.lastname@example.org (314) 522-3100 (x.5533 or 5108)
Someone said that at this moment Loki looks like he is vacuuming :D
so….. i tried…..
How to cover up tattoos!
- use a red lipstick covering the outlines
- pat on a light concealer, using a setting powder
- pat on your skin tone concealer, and clean up any mistakes using baby wipes to remove excess concealer
- use a fluffy brush and smooth it out with foundation powder.VIDEO TUTORIAL:
we don’t usually reblog/post cosplay stuff, but a friend pointed it out to me and i haven’t seen it elsewhere SO maybe it can help someone!
Useful for cosplay AND if you’re applying for a job that views tattoos as ‘unprofessional’.
Also good for hickeys
This just seems useful for any purpose so here you go
For future notice~
Casual reminder that in one of Leonardo da Vinci’s many notebooks containing innumerable artistic and scientific sketches and notes of incomprehensible important, there is a sketch of two penises with legs and tails walking towards a crudely drawn anus.
The sketch was most likely done by Leonardo’s apprentice Salai, who was not only very likely one of Leonardo’s lovers, but who was also infamously mischievous. Better yet, the anus is literally labeled “Salai.”
So either Salai drew these while Leonardo wasn’t looking just to annoy his boyfriend, or Leonardo himself put actual time and energy into drawing these. Either way, the human race is truly blessed to have made such a discovery.
There are dick drawings like the ones you see on desks in school in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks. Please cherish this information.
In the midst of exploring Renaissance Italy history for reasons, I have found a wonder.